By Dr. Mollie Marti
Business is mainly about relationships. If you are here reading this blog, you likely went into business in response to a burning desire to help others make a positive impact in this world.
Here’s the catch-22: you make your presence more public as a way of helping more people…and then more people begin asking for help!
How can you grow through the greater and greater demands on your time while maintaining your desired happy and healthy lifestyle?
- Accept that you simply do not have enough hours in the day to share a piece of yourself with anyone and everyone who wants you. A business built on time with you is not scalable. The brutality of this truth does not make it any less of a reality. You may not like it. But if you fight with this reality, you will lose every time. To make a bigger impact, you must prioritize and get really good at saying ‘no’ to requests (while saying a bigger YES to you!).
- My golden rule: do not leave anyone worse off than when you found them. I distinctly remember the ‘aha’ moment I had when sitting in a law school lecture and the professor said that the basis of our tort system was to make the injured party as whole as possible. I thought, “well, isn’t that a minimum level of every human interaction? Going forward, I am consciously bringing this choice to all of my
relationships!” Seek to shower kindness on others while embracing no less than a rule of Do No Harm. If you hurt someone, make amends.
- With an inherent inability to show all of those we love how much we love them and to help those who deserve our help, there is no room to give time and energy to takers. If someone is making your life worse and it is clear that they don’t have your best interests in mind, move on (but see #5 before you do!).
- Adopt a daily gratitude ritual of giving thanks for all the people who have nourished you over time. Hold them in your thoughts and bless them. Parents. Family. Teachers. Friends. Clergy. Significant others. Perhaps even those who have hurt you … and made you more of who you are today. Consider using 5 minutes each day to contact at least one person who comes to mind and express your gratitude for how they have helped you become a better person.
- It’s a common (and I believe extremely foolish) mistake to move on from close relationships too quickly. In today’s world, people seem more inclined to walk away from a relationship than to walk away from their television set or computer. Commitments matter. Investing in those you love and who love you reaps rich rewards. Learning how to best connect and communicate is time well spent. There are several great resources for better connecting to your partner or kids – one I strongly recommend is Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages.
- Take a look in the mirror. What are you bringing to your relationships? Social media, with its openness and live time interaction, can fool you into thinking that relationships are quick and easy. The truth remains that relationships take time and effort. You must invest in them. Examine what you want others to do for you…and then ask the better question, “What can I do today to bring value to this other person?”
- My life’s greatest mentor frequently reminded me as a young professional, “Friendship is a two-way street.” This is true of business relationships as well. In both life and business, pay more attention to those who show they care. Give them special treatment and opportunities for time with you. This will nourish you as you nourish them.
- Finally, love yourself. You simply cannot give away what you don’t have. Invest in making yourself whole and then creating more to share with others. Consciously design your best life. When you know your personal definition of success and you make smart daily choices to keep your fuel tank full, you are capable of leading a massive caravan of like-minded travelers who enthusiastically want to share this journey of life with you.
I look forward to hearing your feedback – and your best ideas for serving others in a bigger way while leveraging your time and energy.
About Guest Blogger Dr. Mollie Marti
Dr. Mollie Marti, founder of BestLifeDesign.com and coach to elite performers around the globe, pulls out all the stops to help you live a high impact life. This mom/psychologist/professor/lawyer/entrepreneur/author (…the list goes on) is smart enough not to play alone. She hangs with some of the world’s top thought leaders, from Mariel Hemingway to NY Times bestselling authors Daniel Pink and Bob Burg and her team is coming together to offer a powerful (and free!) Best Life Design TeleSummit. Grab your seat at this escaping mediocrity experience before they’re gone: http://bestlifedesign.com.